I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
