arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I still have a little drunk in my system
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
