i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
