Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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