; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
