Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I party with great urgency now.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
