the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
