If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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