Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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