Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Randomize
