Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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