Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
