another moral hangover. fuck.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
