Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
