your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
