Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
