i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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