A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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