I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I just gift wrapped bread.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
