the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
