careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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