WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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