her vagina looked like bernie madoff
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
