So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
