She announced her abortion via fbk
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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