trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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