Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
