I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
