I murdered the dance floor call the cops
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
