Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
