Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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