if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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