I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I will pee on everything he values.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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