called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Randomize
