I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
they need to just BURY HIM!
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
