Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
