So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i already hear my dad disowning me
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
