I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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