Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
