It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
