I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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