You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
