So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
