I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
