I want to stick my p in your. b.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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