Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
