Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
