so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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