I checked into jail on foursquare
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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