He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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