I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
