So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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