I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
